The Friends We Keep by Sarah Zacharias Davis

I struggle with friendships. I struggle with feeling like I don't have very many friends - close friends. I struggle when someone I want to be friends with doesn't return my friendship. I wonder what's wrong with me? Why don't people want to be friends with me? Are my expectations for what a friend is too high? Are people just too busy to put effort into a real, close friendship? Am I wanting too much? Asking too much? This book The Friends We Keep was a salve for my soul. I'm not alone in my struggles with friendships. Sometimes friends are only there for a season and then they are gone. Sometimes we drift away, sometimes they do. Particularly in the world of women's friendships, things are tricky, delicate.

The Friends We Keep: A Woman's Quest for the Soul of Friendship by Sarah Zacharias Davis


My rating: 4 of 5 stars



"The fact is sometimes we are let down by our friends. Intentions may be good, efforts misguided, or they may have nothing left to give, and the result is simply that they are unable to be there for us in the ways we expect them to be."
"...there are times in friendship...when we need to simply accept what people are able to give. That is part of being a friend; in fact, that is part of living among others in any type of community. It is necessary to put away the expectations, the goals, the fixing and longing for how it could be, and simply be and allow our friend to do the same."

"What happens with the friendships that escape us? How does it happen that you drift apart, one day waking up to realize you're no longer friends with that person anymore? Nothing was said; there was no fight, no apparent offense. You don't call her, she doesn't call you, and she simply becomes the friend who got away. Perhaps it is circumstances - someone's situation changes."

"And perhaps there are those who enter our lives only for a time. They bring purpose, experience, and companionship that is meant to last only for a season. Perhaps we always knew that would be the case. Or perhaps we thought it was something we could hold on to and maintain despite our differences or circumstances."

"We all have our own bill of rights for friendship, don't we? Though largely unwritten, we have an internal dialogue of what is expected, acceptable, or unacceptable in our relationships.
"What are the requirements you set for friendships? Is it time, is it loyalty, is it being there - I mean being really there, deep in the mire alongside you, being present to celebrate successes and to mourn disappointments and devastations? Is it hospitality? Is it service? Is it knowing the right words to make you feel better? Is it being with you to mark life's inescapable milestones: births and birthdays, deaths and funerals, illnesses and remissions?
"Do we actually know what our own bill of rights requires? Expectations are often sneaky that way. We can be oblivious to them until they go unmet, and then suddenly they seem so obvious they obstruct our vision of anything else. If we haven't identified our requirements, we certainly can't communicate them. Would a bill of rights force each of us to explore our own expectations before they are returned to us unmet and their emptiness swallows us whole?
"What do we expect from our friends, and what happens when they don't deliver on those expectations? Margaret Mitchell, the author of Gone with the Wind, said, 'Life does not have an obligation to give you what you expect.' But do our friends? Do we obligate our friends to meet our expectations? And if they are unable to do so, should we extricate ourselves from the friendship?"

Spin by Robert Charles Wilson

Spin by Robert Charles Wilson


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
"The night the stars went out" - a membrane covers the earth and it is discovered that time now passes differently outside the membrane. For each minute on earth, years pass outside.

Very interesting read - an "end of the world" type novel.

Spring Reading Thing 2010

I haven't been participating in the Fall into Reading and Spring Reading Thing challenges lately but with as much reading as I've been doing lately, I thought it would be fun to jump in again this time. You can read more about it and sign up here.

Here's my potential reading list:
Leaving Carolina by Tamara Leigh
It's Not My Fault by Henry Cloud
Bed Rest by Sarah Bilston
Heaven by Randy Alcorn
The Judas Strain by James Rollins
Breaking the Idols of Your Heart by David Allender - originally published as Bold Purpose, a book I read a few years ago

I need to finish:
Back to the Moon by Homer Hickam - gave up on/dnf
Shadows of Lancaster County by Mindy Starns Clark - finished Mar. 25
The Bible Jesus Read by Philip Yancey - finished April 3

Soul Repair & Intervention

Soul Repair: Rebuilding Your Spiritual Life by Jeff VanVonderen


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Pretty good read. Learning to see dysfunctional ways that we relate to God, basically turning Him into a god-that-is-not-God. Things to do to change how we relate to God to a more healthy relationship.


Part of the Christian Non-Fiction Challenge. Finished 4 of 10 so far for this challenge.



Intervention by Robin Cook


My rating: 3 of 5 stars
More of a book on the Catholic church and early Christian history than a medical thriller. Included some of my favorite Robin Cook characters - Jack Stapleton and Laurie Montgomery. But didn't really enjoy this one too much.


Part of the Medical Mystery Madness challenge. Finished 4 of 6 so far for this challenge.

2010 Books Read - where did they come from?

I thought it would be fun to look back at the books I've read so far this year and see where I got them from - if they are ones I owned or borrowed, etc.

2010 Reading List

• Soul Repair by Jeff VanVonderen - Owned
  
• Piece of Mind by Robert Bartlett - borrowed from Booksfree
  
• The Pre-Nup by Beth Kendrick - borrowed from Booksfree
  
• Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides - Owned
  
• Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger by Ronald Sider - borrowed from a church library
  
• Finding Contentment by Neil Clark Warren - borrowed from a church library
  
• Relativism by Francis Beckwith & Greg Koukl - Owned
  
• Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller - Owned
  
• A Lover's Quarrel with the Evangelical Church by Warren Cole Smith - Owned
  
• The Church of Facebook by Jesse Rice - borrowed from Booksfree
  
• Clone-27 by Robert Houser - borrowed from Booksfree
  
• Authentic Faith by Gary Thomas - Owned
  
• Moonwar by Ben Bova - Owned
  
• Second Chance by Jane Green - Owned
  
• The Second Opinion by Michael Palmer - Owned
  
• Only Nuns Change Habits Overnight by Karen Scalf Linamen - Owned
  
• Uncompromised Faith by S. Michael Craven - Owned
  
• Never the Bride by Rene Gutteridge - borrowed from Booksfree
  
• Thrilled to Death by Archibald Hart - Owned
  
• Wild at Heart by John Eldredge - borrowed from my church library
  
• Things Unseen by Mark Buchanan - Owned
  
• Moonrise by Ben Bova - Owned
  

So 14 of the books were ones that I owned. 5 I got through Booksfree and 3 were from libraries. Good that I'm actually reading books that I own! Woot!

Latest Reads and Current Reads

I've been doing rather well with reading so far this year, with 21 books finished so far. I don't know that I will keep this pace up, but I have been enjoying what I've been reading.

Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger by Ronald Sider - an eye-opening book that starts out with a lot of statistics about poverty throughout the world. The last section of the book talks about practical applications of what can be done to help the poor.

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides - this is not the typical book that I read but I found myself drawn into the story. Because I live in the Detroit area, it was interesting to read about the history of Detroit through the eyes of a Greek immigrant. The writing flowed and kept the story moving along.

The Pre-Nup by Beth Kendrick - 3 friends deal with marriage - one of whom is approaching marriage and runs into snags when writing her pre-nup. Another friend discovers her husband cheating and then finds that her pre-nup may cost her everything. It was an okay book. Pretty quick read.

Piece of Mind by Robert Bartlett - tales of patients with various head ailments and their neurosurgeon's attempt to take care of them. Some of the book dealt with the debate of the soul and the mind and where does the soul go when the body dies.

Currently I'm reading several books - Intervention by Robin Cook, Spin by Robert Charles Wilson, The Summer of Cotton Candy by Debbie Viguies, Soul Repair by Jeff VanVonderen, The Bible Jesus Read by Philip Yancey, Shadows of Lancaster County by Mindy Starns Clark, and Back to the Moon by Homer Hickam.

Remaining February Reads

Rather than do a separate post for each book, here are the remaining books that I finished in February.

The Church of Facebook by Jesse Rice - enjoyed this look at how much Facebook and social networking have changed our culture.

A Lover's Quarrel with the Evangelical Church by Warren Cole Smith - interesting book. I thoroughly enjoyed this author's viewpoint on the state of things in America's evangelical church.

Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller - while we may not have physical idols of stone or wood, many things in our lives can become idols by how much attention we pay to them. Good things can become idols when we rely on them for our security and happiness.

Relativism: Feet Firmly Planted in Mid-Air by Francis Beckwith and Gregory Koukl - a look at the philosophy of relativism and how it is self-refuting. Parts of this book were over my head but it was a good book for how to fight against relativistic thinking.

Finding Contentment by Neil Clark Warren - a really easy and quick read but seemed rather humanistic for a 'Christian' book. The premise was that you need to be authentic and be who you really are in order to find true contentment. Which is probably true but just a bit too much focus on self-image/self-worth.